What is a relationship? A relationship is defined as a state of connectedness or relatedness between two or more people. This can be associated by blood or marriage (kinship). This is also described as the mutual dealings or connections of feelings between two existing parties or individuals. It can be an emotional or sexual affair or liaison or it can be something friendly or business-related. There are actually a lot of things that make a relationship successful. Being in a romantic relationship requires the involvement of passion and care for each other. These are the things that help run an intimate relationship and make it become healthy. However, as time pass by, relationships can also turn sour. One of the persons involved in a relationship can lose their affection for the other individual, and this can actually result in the person becoming abusive and brutal. But is it possible to manage a relationship such as this? Below are some of the things that can be done in order to learn how to get over an abusive relationship.
Understanding an Abusive Relationship
An abusive relationship is actually a very difficult situation to get over with. This is why many people coming from this type of situation find it hard to move past the pain and the nightmares of this relationship. Abuse coming from the hands of a loved one can actually leave us the feeling or worthlessness, hopelessness and depression. The abuser may be good in making us feel weak and unworthy, but these are actually lies in order for us not to have enough strength to fight or move on. Fortunately, there are a lot of ways that we can do in order to escape the pains and burden of an abusive relationship. This however, requires us to have full determination and courage to face the new chapter of our lives. Below are the step by step processes in doing it.
Step 1: Cutting all the Connections of the Abuser
Even though we have already released ourselves from the hands of the abuser, the abuser can still try to find ways in order to get us connected. This is usually one of the ways for the abuser to make any reconciliation. This is actually part of the “honeymoon” period where the abuser will start to make promises of not hurting anymore, when in fact the abuser can actually go back to its original brutal self. Nevertheless, the words of the abuser can be sincere, but this is actually a way for him to manipulate the situation. This is why it is important for us to think wise and not to be fooled by the abuser’s touching words since the cycle of violence can go on and on not until we put an end to it by cutting all the connections. Some of these connections include contacts in our cell phone or through social networks or email. It is even advisable to move on or to transfer to another place in order to provide distance from the abuser.
Step 2: Reconnect or Rely More on Family and Friends
We all know that an abusive partner wants to have control or dominion over the abused individual. This is the reason why getting in touch with family and close friends can help not just emotionally but as well as in providing more support and protection against the abusive person. The more we isolate ourselves from other people, the more difficult it would be for us to detach from the control of the abuser. It is important that during the recovery or the detachment phase of a relationship, significant people who love us are always with us to accompany and to provide moral support. Most abused individuals who try to keep their abusive relationship a secret from their family usually end up suffering longer and greater. Being open with the type of relationship we are having can actually register support and care from family and close friends. This can actually help us recognize our self worth and can also provide the confidence in facing the situation and providing proper and immediate action.
Step 3: Be as Busy as a Bee
One of the control tactics of a typical abuser is to find ways in controlling or monopolizing our time. This can actually prevent us from doing our regular and usual activities and routines and can also hinder us from doing our hobbies and interests. Aside from this, an abusive partner can also prevent us from earning or enjoying the benefits of our job. This is why it is important for us to become involved once again to the usual activities of people and the community. Becoming proactive can be very helpful in ending the unhealthy relationship with our abuser. Aside from making us feel better, becoming busy can help us become occupied with a lot of things that it can help us get away from the bad or unwanted memories that we have from our former partner.
Step 4: Seek the Help of a Therapist
The abuser is actually capable of causing trauma physically, emotionally and mentally. Because of this, it is essential for the abused to always seek the help and expertise of therapists. The demeaning words and threatening behavior produced or caused by the abuser can actually help lower down our self esteem. This is the reason why many abused people feel worthless or useless. Having a therapist can also help us become in touch with our support group. This is also a great way for us to open up our feelings with regards the situation that we are dealing. Being open about our stresses in going through an unhealthy relationship with an abuser is considered to be one of the first or primary steps in moving on in life and achieving recovery.
These are some of the things that we need to remember in order for us to move on and get away from an abusive relationship. We know that doing these things is not an easy task to do, but the point here is that these things are still considered possible and/or doable if and only if we are determined to do so.